Is Your "High Standard" Actually Imposter Syndrome in Disguise?
As an executive coach and former diplomat, I’ve spent my career stepping into new roles, new cultures, and new challenges every few years. Every time I did, I felt a familiar weight on my shoulders: the pressure to be the "perfect" leader from day one.
I told myself I just had high standards. But the truth? It was imposter syndrome in disguise.
If you are a mid-career professional, a female leader, or a person of color in leadership, you likely know this feeling well. You over-prepare, work nonstop, and say "yes" to everything just to prove you belong. But while you’re performing on the outside, you’re second-guessing yourself and losing sleep on the inside.
The Myth of the "Perfect" Transition
Early in my career, I thought my success depended on how fast I could prove myself. I eventually realized I had it backward.
My best transitions weren’t the ones where I "performed" the hardest. They were the ones where I:
Slowed down to listen.
Asked questions instead of providing all the answers.
Observed the power dynamics and the "underneath the surface" politics.
When I allowed myself to be human and vulnerable, I didn't just feel better—I led better.
Why Perfectionism is a Leadership Trap
When you lead from a place of perfectionism, you aren’t just hurting your own nervous system; you’re impacting your team. Perfectionism is a "creativity killer." It:
Shuts down healthy risk-taking.
Makes it harder for your team to speak openly.
Prevents the building of real, psychological trust.
By trying to meet every single bullet point perfectly, you actually discount your greatest asset: your ability to grow.
How to Shift from "Proving" to "Learning"
If you’ve been feeling the weight of perfectionism lately, I want to challenge you to make a shift. Leadership isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about creating space.
Ask more, tell less: Focus on understanding the environment before you try to "fix" it.
Ease off the throttle: Identify one area where you can lower the pressure.
Delegate for growth: Where can you step back so someone else on your team has the space to step up?
Embrace the "Watercolor" Moments
I recently spent some time with watercolors. I used too much salt, and I even ripped the paper when I pulled the tape off. It didn’t turn out how I anticipated, but I still liked it. I could still turn it into something useful.
Your leadership journey is the same. People don't follow you because you're perfect; they trust you because you’re human.
Where is perfectionism holding you back today? What would change if you let some of that pressure go?
Are you navigating a career transition or looking to level up your leadership without the burnout? I’d love to help you shift from proving to performing.
Click below to book a free discovery session with me, and let’s start your journey toward confident, human leadership.
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